Life is full of obligations. As young children, we are taught to follow traditions, beliefs, and all the family “shoulds” and “oughts” from our elders, as well as those from society in general. They “help” us understand the world according to their particular set of values and perspectives. Most of the time, their intentions are honorable, and we accept them as truth, fact, or law because that is what we know. Those teachings form us as we grow, shaping our own perspective of what life is and how to live it.
As we get older and come into contact more and more with others, our world view is challenged. Acquaintances may have similar perspectives about some views, but might have drastically different perspectives about others. What is right? What is wrong? How do I interact with someone who experiences life so differently from me? Do I even try? Do I give up my beliefs to make a connection with that other person? Can we share what we have in common and accept whatever else we don’t? How do I navigate the complexities that come my way?
Most of us look outside ourselves for validation, be it from family, friends, significant others, or society. We often disregard our own ideas and needs for the sake of parents, siblings, friends, and partners. They may even demand that of us for their own benefit. When that makes us unhappy or uncomfortable, it is time to examine the situation. Where do our obligations lie? Are we bound to do the bidding of others, particularly when it is not in our own best interest?
Ultimately, each of us has an obligation to ensure our own well being. Ideally, that means being accountable for the world view we adopt for ourselves, and allowing others to do the same for themselves. Unfortunately, that often does not happen. Sometimes we hold others responsible for the emotions we feel, be they happiness, joy, anger, fear, or jealousy. For example, in a relationship, my partner may expect me to do whatever is necessary to make him/her happy. When we experience true happiness together, we are connecting on a higher plane. However, when happiness is demanded by one and not shared by both, resentment and discord ensue. The obligation is misplaced. Since we are answerable for our own emotions, each of us must recognize and cultivate those emotions that bring the most satisfaction in all we do, without bringing harm to another. That is our obligation to ourselves. Although this may sound selfish, in doing so, we are able to be more effective, not only in our relationships, but also in life. Each of us has our own path to follow and our own lessons to learn. It is important to be allowed to learn those lessons and to let others learn theirs. It would be ideal if respect and compassion for each individual were at the top of my list, your list, and everyone’s list. When we care for ourselves, and then in turn, care for others, the world exists at a higher vibrational plane and the possibility for peace expands. Namaste.
