Holding space for another means I consciously give that person the right to live his or her life as they see fit. I believe they are entitled to be whomever they choose to be. Regardless of whether I agree or disagree with what they say or believe, I hold that space because of my respect for them. Living on this planet is a journey for each one of us. It is not about acquiring money, power, or prestige, although that may be part of our path. More importantly, it is about how we live our lives. What is our purpose here? How do we become the best we can be? How do we live a life that brings us to reunion with God?
Why Should We Hold Space?
Holding space for another is part of our mission on Earth. Although we don’t always recognize it, it is about helping each other along. If I understand the meaning of holding space for you, I view you with value. I know we are equal, not one above or below the other. If I truly hold space for you, then I have a right to expect that you will hold space for me as well. It is acceptance of each other. In mutual respect for one another, we are able to live side by side in harmony.
Therefore, we agree in principle that we are not in competition with each other on any level. We each believe the other is worthy, regardless of race, creed, wealth, or education. In addition, we make no judgments of the other because we recognize and honor our and their individuality. One size does not fit all. So we understand that the diversity we recognize and experience with our families, neighbors, friends and fellow human beings enriches our lives in ways that are beneficial for us all.
When we are holding space for others, we offer them opportunities. In turn, when they hold space for us, they offer the same. Each must be allowed to determine how to live life without judgment, assuming no harm is being done. To hold a person in esteem is to hold them worthy, regardless of their accomplishments. Embracing that person, as is, affirms his or her value.
How Does Holding Space Benefit Ourselves?
Some of us feel highly valued and others do not. That value should not be determined by what others think of us, but rather in how we view ourselves. Are we seeking a meaningful life? Do we broaden our life through change and growth? Or do we resist opportunities that come along in order to stay ‘safe’? How do we hold space for ourselves, or do we?
We cannot hold space for others if we are not holding space for ourselves. It’s not about selfishness, but about self esteem. As we recognize which life experiences help us successfully express who we are, we strengthen our self esteem. This, in turn, allows us to be kind, loving, affirming, authentic, cooperative, helpful, honest, satisfied, secure, and supportive. Over time, as we strengthen these qualities, they become second nature to us. It’s a matter of perspective and choice. What type of person do we want to be?
Holding Space is Expansion
Whether we recognize it or not, life is always expanding. Expansion in an energetic sense means finding ways to raise our vibration, or grow. As we expand throughout life, we become a more complete human being. That growth shows up as happiness, confidence, and satisfaction. Growth means we move closer to God.
When our lives remain stagnant, there is some, but little growth and expansion. Often we maintain old patterns which may be less than satisfying, or even harmful. Examples may be alcoholism, or poor relationships. We may allow others to influence the opinion we have of ourselves, our self esteem. When this happens, it is difficult to know and voice the truth of who we are.
Holding space for another is allowing them their truth, which may be quite different from our own. It is allowing, and sometimes helping them to expand and find their own way. If we believe we are all perfect in God’s eyes, we can trust that each of our lives is unfolding according to God’s plan. The more we believe that, the more we trust in ourselves and others. Holding space is trusting that each of us has a divine purpose on earth to help each other become all we can be. Adonai.